Coffee Plants and Endless Thoughts!

  Dear Mikee, 17 th September 2013     “Don’t hold back when the tears trickle down, because they will eventually dry out and you will smile. Smile with a true sense of happiness. The burden of the tears you hold back will outweigh the happiness after you let it run dry.” If you have this piece of paper in your hand, I want you to run into our hostel room and lock the doors behind you and hold it onto your chest and embrace it. I hope the warmth of my words can comfort you. They say it is always darkest just before dawn and I would like to reiterate that statement for you.   It is hard when the people around you don’t treat you like a human being. It is really hard to be deprived of basic dignity and love. I know you are struggling with the tag of being a liability to the school and being the last in the class. I know you failed your math exam over and over again and had to pass because they decided to show you pity. I know you hate attending so many remed...

  The hot afternoon wind blew from east to west roaring     As I sat in the storefront in the corner street wondering The half-lit cigarette gripped between my fingers yet dangling As the smoke that engulfed my life and lungs left me wondering   The sun slowly started to vanish with a cool breeze adieu The trees wept with flowers like a pleasant spring morning And the air slowly filled with your sweet fragrant presence You stood across the street like an angel in eternal glory   I stand in admiration and surprise reminiscing the yesteryears My inner child came gushing across like a river in love Traversing through the sands of time in an ocean of happiness You were my past, denied in the present and unsure of the future   I followed you crazily through the city mazes admiring from afar The memories of our time painted the city walls with colors of joy I was far yet close to you and close yet millions of miles away After m...

  For I promise that I will leave something behind for you all   Leave you all something that means the world and the stars A memory so happy that it floods you all with tears of joy As I head into my perpetual sleep far from the realms herein     The amalgamation of what I want and what I need now The end of superficial notions governed by the laws and ordeal Etched in time will be me dawning in your memory But nothing more than a distant memory and indeed memory   I want to dream about the happiness I never sensed I want to Dream about the love I never felt wholeheartedly I want to experience the peace of the dawning sun and moon I only seek that you all don’t hold on and wave me goodbye    Keep me alive in the canyons of your memories Let me flow through your emotions and water the soul Let me plant the seeds of strength as a flickering ghost Peacefully wishing you all well in my perpetual sleep    ...

  The words of Nietzsche and Cioran echoed in the silence The Silent Night sky screaming with fear and darkness The steady sunlight was still a long time away and uninvited   As we stood in the periphery of life, the existential curse   There is no meaning to life in the age of the living There is more meaning to life once we are deceased The human tendency forgets the before and the after For there is the eternal beginning once we are deadened   For a layman it might be the end, but the gods say nay The point of redundancy of the burden that we carry Because here I am ardently seeking the eternal beginning Where there is no emotion and the materialistic fiction   I see the light when I close my eyes and the darkness flipside I smell the blooming flowers and citrus when I stop breathing And the smell of rotten flesh engulfs my lungs when I breathe This is the irony of life and the truth that we most despise     ...

A couple of days ago I lost my uncle due to a medical complication. He was 59 and absolutely did not deserve to leave this planet. He was one of the most wonderful human beings. He was the last flickering light in the salvaged history of my ill-fated family. A sibling to my mother, a friend to my father and the most supportive and positive person to anyone who ever had the privilege to cross his path. He was selfless even after death as he managed to make the lives of seven people who faced the uncertain call of death defeat it by donating his organs. He was selfless even beyond existence. I am lucky to call him my uncle.  He was perfectly alright on Sunday as he had lunch with my family and planned a mini vacation to our ancestral village in the coming months. He faced quite a bit of trouble growing up. The fall from grace of my family through history had put my uncle and his grandparents into the depths of poverty. Additionally, he had the responsibility of taking care of two s...

  Underneath the Stormy Ocean crust of white and blue Lies the depths of silence and darkness of morrow A silence so loud that it calls you out loud within The shores and the waves are no match for the silence   The winds churn the ocean crust breaking and crumbling The echoes of whales’ act as songs in the calm below The calmness inside marred and jarred by the storm Slowly sinking into the depths within gasping   The shore that I wanted to leave behind forever The thoughtless cruel shores of memories disfigured The depths beneath were my ticket to the stars The depths felt more meaningful and less painful   Light can only reach a certain point below Thoughts could only hurt so much and less The water gushing into my lungs gave me air As I gasped in the mortal realm of pain and sorrow   I climbed into the depths slowly seeking answers The water slowly climbed from beneath me The last of the visible illusion slowly perish...

There once stood a wise old Hill amid a paddy field surrounded by a village. The Hill hosted a Deity that echoed with such pious powers and knowledge. The Deity and Hill often looked over the village and exchanged dialogues of knowledge yond the comprehension of mankind. The Hill observed the hundreds of the pilgrims that took the path of hardship to pour their heart out to the Deity and wail over their lost souls. They seek faith and hope, love and care and cure for pain. The wise old Hill looked over the pilgrims as it held everyone in its palm as they walked up to the Deity. Not all pilgrims climbed up the tattered path to the Deity. It required conviction and astute conviction in search of hope sprinkled with faith.   The time had come for the pilgrims to till the soil, water the dry lands, and sow the seeds of life. The pilgrims soiled under the burning sun displacing every grain of sand to make space for the seeds of life. The land was broken and tattered. Water gushed throug...

  The notion of Purpose hangs over us as heavy baggage we carry The nay human life oblivious without the baggage they carry The People juggling between wanting to live and survive in a loop The question of life without a purpose hangs on a snapping rope The more we hang on the more it pains and letting go, questionable The people who choose to hang on May survive but never live The people who choose to live may not sadly survive unequivocally The ones who do both are often burdened with solitude aplomb The question of objectivity and realism often muddled in chaos The world poisoned with perfectionist materialism indeed inertly The cure exists in the world beyond the dimensions of truth The problem inevitably in broad daylight with no morale or joy The world we leave behind has everything that we live for and die The destination has everything that we dream about for eternity The war between optimism realism and scepticism in a prism The burning fire of rage pushi...

  We go chasing behind the destinations afar Not heeding to the beautiful journey now Mountains, Rivers, Canyons, Forests, Stars The Moon chased me as I left the sun abaft The horizons far away had me bemused Every nautical mile that we happily cruised The scattered islands peppering the ocean Adding flavour to my life and soul within. Trekking in the lush green high forest pines Dangling on a camel’s back in desert canvas Flying yond the floating marshmallow above Letting the rain drops kiss on a highway The journey of a million miles as it's said Is an opportunity for million memories anew For we often forget the journey within Which is important as the journey outward The destination often gives us a purpose But it's the Journey that gives it a meaning Mountains, Rivers, Canyons, Forests, Stars A bottle of whiskey and a box of cigars.  

  The month of December was on the horizon Memories unfurled of yesteryears aplenty The candle wick flickered slowly radiating The winds outside howled like a wolf raging The trees danced, wailed and broke down The Air smelt of the fresh grounds beneath There was darkness cast upon the city walls The lakes and rivers overflowed with fear The boats remained anchored yearning The waves crashed ashore with arrogance Sense of Melancholic depravity spreads The candle wax slowly melted the darkness The sea sends a monster every year on cue Swirling and Twirling and churning it's way A whirlpool in the sky so mighty and high Yet the sea wanted to trespass the lands The cold sent shivers muddled with fear We endure this year after year with fear It takes lives and livelihoods aplenty at time But gives us the strength and determination

Simplicity is not simple act of being content  Simplicity is a chaos within its wings of war  Simplicity is a mystery woven into our souls  Simplicity is a plethora of scarce thoughts Simplicity is the magic spell of dark chaos  Simplicity is the eye of the Hurricane  Simplicity is the prologue of the waves  Simplicity is the sunrise sunset and beaches  Simplicity is the candle wick in a funeral  Simplicity is a satiating feeling after hunger  Simplicity is the first drop of rain in drought  Simplicity is the shade of autumn and hout  Simplicity is the feeling after your first kiss  Simplicity is the feeling after you let go  Simplicity is a method within madness  Simplicity is the drop of tear and sadness Simplicity is never a notion of being simple  Simplicity is never a act of kindness  Simplicity is a chaos within its wings of war  Simplicity is a plethora of scarce thoughts

  Within the mysterious perils of the darkness inside me   My thoughts wandered slowly wishing for the end When my life was just dawning into existence slowly My mind yearned for the epoch of its epilogue   Even a thousand mirrors cannot show me my true self For it was not question of if I can but do I want to Words had no meaning and sentences left incomplete Caught in a darkness when the sun shone bright     I was blind deaf dumb numb and dead within Heading towards a meaningless void abstract I tried reasoning with the soul and heart within   The last drop of emotion and connection lost     I lived a life without a meaning and morrow For the yesteryears were no tale of joy and bliss The war I waged within myself scorched me And set ablaze the little energy I had left to burn   Like a drowning ship in the midst of a storm Slowly drifting away into the unknown space Slowly losing the last bit of ho...

Subtle drops of tears trickled down my cheeks High up in the mountains I stood crying aloud In the spectrum of darkness trying to break free Very essence of life slowly slipping away farther Although the sun shone bright it was still dark Nights were my day and darkness my only kin Inevitable was my pain and confidence obsolete The days longer and time a dystopian devil lurking Heavy hearts weighed me down crushing me slowly Along with a million dead souls I drifted aimlessly Keen to see my sorrow finally culminate into null Ubiety of my soul and mind was nobody else but you Regretting what could have been and lifeless inside

When I sit in the corner of the room pondering why When all is lost and everything aghast My soul slowly trickles out of my lifeless body But I knew you were the last hope   You were the big bang in my lifeless universe A star in the cosmic blanket of darkness A seed of happiness and the essence of life For I knew you were the last hope   You were the wind that helped me Sail Peace of mind and tranquil yet frail I am most vulnerable when I am with you As you will always be the last hope   A shoulder to cry on when I am sad The source of music for my dance The first blossom in my autumn life As you have always been the last hope   My heart jumps with joy when I am with you The gloom around me turns to joy The voices in my head ceases to a standstill For you are the last hope

Through the shadows of a million souls I traversed  Into a world that offered neither hope nor joy  I take actions that are consequential and adverse  As I stood in the midst of a utopian society completely lost The world has changed considerably in a cosmic wink Beyond compare and identity  The souls of the yesteryears are a weak memory As I stand in the future completely lost  The reality stopped being joyous  My imagination stale and useless  My will to live was obnoxious  As I made my way around completely lost  The world felt like a mirror broken  Reflecting everything devoid of what was spoken  Subtle and horrid like a nightmare in a park      Taking me apart piece by piece as I stood completely lost  There was pain but I felt nothing  A oaken piece of nothingness amongst delusion  As the proverbial world manifested itself  I was still out of bounds and completely lost 

As the month of November rolls into morrows periphery Little pearls of heavenly joy start spilling out As the blankets of fluffy marshmallows collide The scorching grounds let their wildfire steam into the sky   Flurry of swirling blanket clouds collide with the land As they brew into existence in the warm neighbour ocean Melody from the speakers as blare as the evening coffee brews And fresh hot fritters are dunked into chutney   The sun begins its game of hide and seek yond the clouds And tired it leaves home early as the world spins time There is an abundance of water and melancholy And the kids pray for your prospective onset   Birds cuddled within the confines of their nest As the trees cherished and welcomed your arrival Plants and shrubs aplenty stooped down with joy as you kissed Thunder and lightning echoed their beautiful sonnet   As the month of November rolls into morrows periphery The city is overjoyed and lost i...

In my Monotonous, Meticulous, Miserable and Mad life, you were a ray of Hope. Like a candle that melted into darkness, I was slowly being stripped out of all the joy in my life. The heat of the flame caused a caustic reaction to the wax that burned outside. I was melting way into oblivion of gloomy uncertainty. My portly mind waned into madness. I was nearing the apocalypse as every last shred of Hope got slowly stripped away. In the midst of all the turmoil, you were the first ray of the morning sun, the heat of the spring after winter, the first drops of rain after a long summer and the first bloom after the brown autumn. You were my Hope! Your light shined upon me with all its glory. The birds in my life adorned the skies again. The trees in my life coloured the grounds green and the white sad snow melted away into a bed of lush green grasses. The succulent scent of the flowers sprinkled the ground with winged butterflies. I was happy and pious as your rays of Hope touched my wo...

I travelled with my brother to the lands afar To the Fair Grounds with the Lights below the stars Of all the merrier things that the fair had to offer But my mind wandered towards the Ferris Wheel It was high and might glimmering in light As the individual seats with cages rotated on spokes I crawled through the crowd and stood in the line Waiting for my chance at the Ferris Wheel People got in the cages as people got out Waiting to reach the top midst the clouds The spokes held the cages together with hope As the cages went up and down one by one I stood mesmerized by the beauty of the wheel The people that went up always came down A journey that started near the pits in somber And slowly climb their way into the clouds That’s what life is I thought to myself The ups and downs with hope within A weapon as mighty as reality and life The Ferris Wheel touched the ground and the sky

I stood at the periphery of the world I Stare across the world in front me The vast oceans and mountain ranges Echoed in silence with my cold breath I miss your warm breath against me I searched for the meaning my life The meaning that thinned out as you drifted The meaning that gave me happiness I spread my wings soaring across the vast sky Hunting for you in every corner A bounty for my heart and soul A meaning to my empty life nonetheless Your presence obliterates me into millions Your presence brings me joy Your presence makes me feel the joy of abundance Your presence makes me content Oh, my dear you are my meaning My missing puzzle The light in darkness Oh, my dear you are my meaning